Leap of Faith

I often think about taking “a leap of faith.” For me, starting a blog is a part of that big jump. In college you’re told to figure out a direction for your career and life, I chose corporate retail, and for a lot of good reasons — I loved math (my grammar is actually pretty terrible so thanks to those of you still reading!), was excited to explore different business models, and have always admired my Dad’s entrepreneurial ventures. I specified in the problem solving aspects of supply chain management and learned the in’s and out’s of organization and structure for running a smooth operation.

I loved the idea of being a buyer - it is essentially shopping for a living while managing your own business within a larger corporation, and I was determined to do it. Right out of college, I was training to learn everything I could about corporate retail and the industry. I was motivated, caught on quick, and always volunteered to go just a little further. That lasted about 3 years, then I hit a wall. I struggled, blaming it on vendors and co-workers I didn’t see eye-to-eye with, and lacked satisfaction in the day-to-day. Looking back, it was much more than the job, it was recognizing that there’s more to life than work, and the personal satisfaction you get from your work can change your life. It became clear to me…there are currently two types of fashion industries: the mass-produced corporate money-making model, and the socially-conscious and mindful small business, and I was on the wrong team. Big issues that seemed overwhelming in the world to tackle as one person — hunger, homelessness, unfair wages and working conditions, sex trafficking, etc. — weren’t getting any better if I stayed at my cubicle picking prints for next season.

I remember sitting at my desk, boiling inside with anger as I cut out little boxes of color swatches rearranging them on the table for visual presentations.  It is not that the task was miserable to complete, I was angry that I was spending my time and efforts on what felt like such a stupid and pointless task. I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the bigger issues in the world and that instead of working to improve and make the world a better place I was actually doing quite the opposite by working in an industry that supports a lot of things I don’t agree with.  I am not one to blow up in anger (I hate confrontation) so instead I quietly finished the task at hand and went back to my desk to move on to the next thing on my list but my motivation was gone, I knew I had to start looking for work with more purpose.

While regrouping before moving on to the next task I plugged in in my headphones, cranked up my Lauren Daigle/Hillsong playlist and took a minute to reset by scrolling through Instagram.  I saw where 31 Bits was hiring summer interns in Uganda. I thought, well I am probably a little overqualified for a summer intern gig at this point in my career but wow - what a way for God to push me out of my comfort zone, trust in him and all for a cause and company that I love and respect.  It would get me out of my current situation and comfort zone, provide an opportunity to travel and could potentially lead to other connections and opportunities. So as crazy as it felt, I applied and interviewed for it. I also spent a night in tears on the phone with my mom because she thought I was being irrational but that's beside the point.  The opportunity did not end up working out and while I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, I still knew corporate retail is not where I was called to be in the long run.

While considering going to Uganda I called my best friend and told her all of the things I was struggling with at work and the crazy idea I was thinking about.  She was ecstatic - she had always had a heart for working for victims of social injustices and was thrilled to hear me share that passion with her. When the 31 Bits opportunity did not workout she came up with the idea of she and I starting up our own socially conscious apparel company.  The goal would be to produce environmentally friendly yet stylish items and provide jobs to women around the world in dire need of a job that would provide them safe working conditions and for a fair wage. For about two years we talked about product ideas, where we would want to produce, who we would be able to help, who we would market to and developed a rather in-depth business plan.  The idea of it all excited me and again I felt called to take the leap. Yet I didn't do it. The concept we had drawn up was technically a conflict of interest with the job that was stocking my fridge and keeping my lights on and when it came down to actually making the decision to leave the comfort and security of my job I couldn't find the courage to do it.

You know that feeling of being on the edge of a cliff, or a high-dive about to jump into the water, but you chicken out? Yea that’s me… and it has been 4 years since I knew I needed to make a big change and I have now chickened out twice.  Instead of taking a leap, I hopped around the company in different roles to create new challenges with better intentions, but they were all short lived… fortunately it trained me and prepared me for the type of work I want to be doing. This past spring I finally found the courage and the right opportunity to take a small leap of faith, I left the comfort of the retailer I had worked at for almost 7 years and accepted a financial analyst role in the Pet Industry.  While I had the desire to start this blog, I couldn’t bring myself to it while working in the apparel industry and supporting exactly what some of my biggest concerns are. So with a new job and the courage to get this up and running…

These are my first steps… to encourage you to be intentional with your purchases, and promote growth for cause-based companies around the world. As I explore and learn the details of the industries, concepts, and challenges, I hope it brings focus and clarity to my purpose, and insightful information for you. This is not just about sustainability, or made in the USA, or fair trade… it’s about highlighting the people who are passionate and prioritized in their businesses. It’s about promoting those making change, to make more change.